


Diamond Dust

by fallsouthwinter



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Family, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, M/M, Minor Character Death, Post-Battle of Scarif, Pre-Canon, Present Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 10:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10695540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallsouthwinter/pseuds/fallsouthwinter
Summary: Five times Bodhi remembers the phenomenon on Jedha and one time he doesn't. (For Bodhiweek 2k17)





	Diamond Dust

**Author's Note:**

> This follows along a little with the backstory Riz Ahmed has for Bodhi, so just- watch out for that.
> 
> I forgot to add this earlier, but [here's a video of diamond dust](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aq-BsY_0oz0).

Bodhi first sees diamond dust halfway between five and six years old. He wakes up to a room colder than usual and discovers his older sister, Ayesha, has taken all the blankets again. Instead of ripping them all back like he wants to, he gets up and is immediately distracted by something outside the window. He runs up the narrow stairs of their small house and he's up on the roof, where the air is even colder and his breath is coming out in large, visible puffs. It looks like there are three suns in the sky, the middle sun ringed by a halo cutting through the sibling suns, and the air is sparkling. He doesn't know how long he's up there before he hears his mother's voice from down below, sounding worried.

"Bodhi? Bodhi, where are you?"

He popped his head over the opening for the stairs that he hadn't bothered to close. "Up here ammi!"

His mother appears at the stairs, looking relieved. "Bodhi, what are you doing - you aren't even dressed - are you trying to get sick and die on me?"

"The sun looks weird," Bodhi replies, unbothered.

"The sun looks weird," his mother repeats, climbing the stairs. "All right. Let's see this weird sun."

On the rooftop, Bodhi's mother wraps him in a hug as Bodhi points. "See? And the air's sparkling, too."

"I see it. It's called diamond dust, and it happens when it's really cold out like it is right now. It's also why it looks like there are three suns."

"Oh."

His mother's comm crackles to life. "Iram, your comm is active, are you there?"

Tugging her comm out of her pocket, Iram answers. "I'm here. What is it?" Looking at Bodhi, she nudges him back towards the stairs. "Go back inside. I'll be there in a minute."

As he heads back into the house, he can hear the other end of the comm. "Something's happened at the temple.”

\------------

The second time Bodhi sees diamond dust he's sixteen, and it's a little after the monsoon, bringing a little relief from the freezing temperatures. The desert practically erupts with flowers. 

His mother had met his step-mother, Hanna, during the festival that took place during the summer month years ago. Their house is a little more crowded now, but Bodhi hardly minds, even if his new little sister, Siyana, has a tendency to drag him and Ayesha into all sorts of trouble.

The flowers are gone now, curled back under the sand to sleep another year and the chill is back, along with it the icy fog that makes the sky glitter like stars in the daytime. He and Ayesha leave the house early, Ayesha convinced out of bed with the promise of a present for her birthday. The sand crunches under their feet as they walk amid the stalls - there are fewer now, there are fewer every year - and Ayesha stops at one. The stall sells baubles, Bodhi can't think of a better word for it, but they all glitter like diamond dust and he can't help but be a little enchanted. 

Ayesha makes small, exclamatory noises as she examines the items laid out before turning to her brother. "Buy me something from here."

\----------

The third time he sees it he's a little over twenty, during a fight his mothers are having. He can hear their voices through the walls of their small dwelling, and Siyana is holding her hands over her ears and crying.

Ayesha isn't here anymore - she left months ago. The night she left, she confessed to Bodhi about joining the Rebellion, please please please keep it to himself, please. The knowledge sits heavy in his chest, knowing that even a sliver of information on Ayesha's whereabouts would ease his parents' pain, but then again it might not, and he did promise. So he says nothing.

Ignoring the shouting, he coaxes Siyana to her feet and brings her outside. They walk a little ways out, hand in hand, staying to the alleys where there will be less people, fewer stormtroopers. Diamond dust swirls around them, sparkling in the rays of the setting sun which is casting a pillar of light high into the sky. They stop at a stall selling pastries with sweet fillings. Bodhi digs out a few precious credits to buy two, and hands one to his sister. He tries to ignore the explosion far in the distance, telling himself it was bad ship wiring as he places a comforting hand on his sister's shoulder when she flinches at the sound.

Siyana looks down at her pastry. "Bo, I'm scared. Mom and ammi have been fighting so much and-" Siyana’s voice breaks. "I don't want to leave you."

"Don't worry Siya," Bodhi says, hugging his sister with one arm as she breaks into tears again. "I'm sure everything will be all right."

Two days later, Hanna and Siyana are gone.

\-------------

The fourth time Bodhi sees it he’s nearly twenty-four, walking fast, trying to get home after a long cargo haul. He hates that he's essentially a cog in the Empire's machine, but it's either that or nothing.

He passes an old guardian, the one who always says ‘May the Force of others be with you’ to no one in particular, though it always feels directed at Bodhi somehow. Through the pillars of light cast between the buildings, he can see the sparkling ice crystals dancing through the air, matching the chill, making Bodhi feel a little better. He can sometimes feel echos of an old NiJedha, vibrant and alive, and sometimes he imagines the city is like the flowers in the desert, curled up and asleep, waiting for the next torrent of rain to bring them back out.

His mother is sick and it feels like the medicine is more of a placebo than actual help. Bodhi knows that's his anger talking, but it doesn't help that his mother has more bad days than good days. 

On bad days, like today, his mother clings to him, murmuring his name over and over until it sounds like an echo of the chants he heard in the temple when he was very small. "Bodhi, Bodhi, don't you leave me too."

Bodhi swallows his tears and anger, smiles, and says, "I'm here ammi. I won't leave you." As much as he likes to think everything would be okay, it feels like his mother is dying like NiJedha, and there is nothing he can do about it.

\-------------

The last time he sees diamond dust, Bodhi is barely twenty-five, sitting on the roof again. He knows this time no one will climb up after him. He can see a halo around the sun, but the ice motes are difficult to see through all the tears.

He sits on the roof for ages, until the sun sets and the stars come out, NaJedha rolling up over the horizon. Bodhi knows his eyes are red, from the cold and the tears, but he doesn’t care anymore. He lets the anger and pain wash over him repeatedly, head in his hands, caught in the thought that as many times as he promised not to leave, his mother forgot to make the same promise. 

Bodhi is alone, sitting under the looming shape of a Star Destroyer.

\-------------

Belkadan has a seasonal shift, so it's freezing on the base. When Cassian pulls back the covers to get up he lets in cold air, making Bodhi retreat into a warmer corner of the bed. Cassian returns a few minutes later, fully dressed, intent on kissing Bodhi goodbye. Instead of a sleepy response, Bodhi cups a hand around the back of Cassian's neck and clings to him. It takes Cassian a few minutes to fully pull away. "Bo, I really need to leave."

Bodhi runs a thumb across Cassian's cheek, feeling the rough stubble and smooth skin underneath the pad of his thumb. He drops his hand. "Be safe." 

Cassian smiles his close-lipped smile and leans down to kiss Bodhi again briefly before leaving.

Knowing he'll never fall back asleep despite it being a full two hours before he actually has to get up for anything, Bodhi crawls out of bed and gets dressed. The bracelet he bought for Ayesha years ago dangles from his wrist, recovered from her effects. It sparkles like it did all those years ago, worn but well cared for.

He remembers Cassian pressing the packet into his palms, an unfamiliar name written over it, but he knew it was Ayesha's the moment the piece of jewelry tumbled out. One of Ayesha's friends told him that Kuat had been the only mission she had forgotten to wear it. 

As he walks through the corridors of the crumbling structures, something outside catches his eye and he's practically bolting for the doors, running outside into the snow. The cold makes the area around his prosthetic arm ache somewhat, but Bodhi doesn't care. He feels like it's been years since he saw diamond dust, and stands there letting the swirling ice crystals and the sight of the halo around the sun drive the anxiety out of his mind.

"Hey, Bo!" Jyn calls out. He turns and sees her walking through the snow towards him. "I saw you running out here and wondered where the fire was."

Bodhi pauses, then decides there's no reason not to tell Jyn the real reason he's standing in the middle of the snow. "I saw diamond dust," he says, pointing vaguely upwards.

"Huh." Jyn stops and looks before wrinkling her nose. "It's just a fancy name for icy fog." Bodhi doesn't respond to this. 

"Hey, but I know something Jedha didn't have," Jyn says, now some distance behind him, right before a snowball smacks directly into the back of his neck. Bodhi lets out a yelp and a second later he's scooping up snow and flinging it at Jyn as she runs through the trees, hooting with laughter.

When he and Jyn make it into the mess hall later, they're shivering and dripping a little. Bodhi is actually hungry, despite Cassian having just left for a mission. He's not complaining, he just loads up his tray and hopes the caf is stronger than dirty dishwater today. They find seats across from Baze and Chirrut, who look like they've only been there for a few minutes.

"Why are you all wet?" Baze asks, and for a moment Bodhi has the feeling he's about to be told to go and dry off before he catches his death. It doesn't happen.

"I followed Bo outside," Jyn replies as if that explains everything, blowing on her lukewarm caf out of habit.

"Why were you outside, Bodhi?" Chirrut asks, drawing Bodhi attention away from the others.

Bodhi clears his throat. "I saw diamond dust. Like what happens on Jedha?"

"Does it look any different here?"

"Well, there are more trees," Bodhi says just as he picks up on Baze's and Jyn's end of the conversation.

"No, you're thinking of the Great Leaf Battle of Belkadan."

"Where you ganged up on Cassian?" Baze asked.

"That's the one."

It's completely ridiculous, and Bodhi can't stop the warm feeling curling in his stomach. It feels strange that he's happy, but there's no denying it. He's not alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> (and as always a huge thanks to my beta and pocket friends)


End file.
